Your first exhibit

"Untitled"
chalk on slate.
12.14.10 

"Bird walking under rainbow"
chalk on slate.
12.14.10

Wide Eyes

Dear Sweetie,

It’s not exaggeration to say that last night I experienced one of the most pure and profoundly joyous moments of my life. We were snuggling in your big girl bed—I was helping you settle down for sleep—and you looked up to the Christmas lights that hang in your room and began orating, welcoming me into the most intimate space.

“Lights. Qwismas lights. Blue. Wred. Blue. Lellow. Wred. Quistmas twee so big . . . tall.”

When you began talking about the Christmas tree your eyes widened and I realized you were lost in a dream space. When you talked about the candy canes your eyes were filled with such absolute wonder and fascination I could barely stand not squeezing you with all my strength.

“Qwismas lights twee (tree) sooo loud (bright?). Sooo loud qwismas lights qwismas twee. Qwismas oh-na-mints. Balls. Bird cage. Qwismas oh-na-mints. Cand’cane”—eyes widening—“ Cand’cane qwismas twee . . . cand’cane . . . cand’cane. Qwismas lights twee sooo loud park gwass gween gwass. Sky. Blue. Twees. Nico running so fast circle. Park. Qwismas twee. Cand’cane.”

“You like candy canes?”

“DO LIKE CAND' CANE!”

We continued to talk about a lot of things. I told you we were going to Mexico, to a place where everyone talked like Nana, the woman who runs your daycare. I told you grandma and grandpa were going to be there. You thought about this for a while and in a somewhat worried voice asked “jammies coming Mexico?” “Yes, sweetie. You pajamas are coming to Mexico.” You smiled, exhaled, and snuggled up to me as though this news was enough to send you to sleep.

When I got up to leave you began screaming “No. No. Don’t. No.” While getting out of the covers. “Daddy,” you said, “love you so much, Daddy.”

What a warm moment.

Love

Dad

The Meaning of Birds

by Charles Smith

Of the genesis of birds we know nothing,
save the legend they are descended
from reptiles: flying, snap-jawed lizards
that have somehow taken to air. Better the story
that they were crab-apple blossoms
or such, blown along by the wind; time after time
finding themselves tossed from perhaps a seaside tree,
floated or lifted over the thin blue lazarine waves
until something in the snatch of color
began to flutter and rise. But what does it matter
anyway how they got up high
in the trees or over the rusty shoulders
of some mountain? There they are,
little figments,
animated---soaring. And if occasionally a tern washes up
greased and stiff, and sometimes a cardinal
or a mockingbird slams against the windshield
and your soul goes oh God and shivers
at the quick and unexpected end
to beauty, it is not news that we live in a world
where beauty is unexplainable
and suddenly ruined
and has its own routines. We are often far
from home in a dark town, and our griefs
are difficult to translate into a language
understood by others. We sense the downswing of time
and learn, having come of age, that the reluctant
concessions made in youth
are not sufficient to heat the cold drawn breath
of age. Perhaps temperance
was not enough, foresight or even wisdom
fallacious, not only in conception
but in the thin acts
themselves. So our lives are difficult,
and perhaps unpardonable, and the fey gauds
of youth have, as the old men told us they would,
faded. But still, it is morning again, this day.
In the flowering trees
the birds take up their indifferent, elegant cries.
Look around. Perhaps it isn't too late
to make a fool of yourself again. Perhaps it isn't too late
to flap your arms and cry out, to give
one more cracked rendition of your singular, aspirant song.

Big Girl Bed

Dear Sweet little monkey,

You had a big day today. It started off with us having a breakfast picnic in your room while the freezing rains fell outside. Then you went off to church with Melanie where you played with the other kids and the baby you seem to love.

When you returned you wanted nothing to do with sleep. We tried everything, but you tore apart the new room I set up for you while you were gone. So we let you stay up! Your first day without a nap.

We thought we were in for trouble, but you were a dream. You went with mommy to a friend's house and baked cookies and played shark . . . for hours. When you returned home you were still in a good mood (unbelievable), and continued to laugh and play until bedtime.

Mommy read lots of books with you in bed and when she finished you remained in your big girl bed. This is a big step, but you decided it was time to make the shift. I don't know if it's going to last, but this is your first night sleeping in a real bed!

Oh, little sweet thing, we're so proud of you.

I can't wait to see you in the morning and ask about your experience.

Love,
Daddy

New This Week

Dear Sava

I just wanted to write you a note and let you know what is new to you this week.

-          You continuously recite your ABCs

-          You’ve stopped kissing me when you go to sleep, but you’ve started snuggling with us in the morning.

-          While playing alone in your room you counted to 13!

-          You taught yourself not only to get out of your own crib, but how to open the bedroom door!

You’re smart, you’re autonomous, and you’re mobile! With this new freedom you’ve also become less okay with boring old sleep. Getting you to stay in your room has become a real chore.

Yesterday your mother found that you were in your crib playing, playing, playing, but not sleeping. 12pm became 1 then 2 then 3 . . . Finally she went into the bedroom and told you she’d take away your baby if you didn’t try to sleep. 10 minutes later you were still playing, singing, and counting away in your room. Your mother took your baby then tucked you into bed. She closed the door and put the baby on a chair in the hallway.

A few minutes later she heard a thud, the door opening, little feet running across the hardwood, the door slammed. When she opened the door she found you with your baby climbing back into your crib!

Can’t wait to find out what comes next.

Love Dad