Wide Eyes

Dear Sweetie,

It’s not exaggeration to say that last night I experienced one of the most pure and profoundly joyous moments of my life. We were snuggling in your big girl bed—I was helping you settle down for sleep—and you looked up to the Christmas lights that hang in your room and began orating, welcoming me into the most intimate space.

“Lights. Qwismas lights. Blue. Wred. Blue. Lellow. Wred. Quistmas twee so big . . . tall.”

When you began talking about the Christmas tree your eyes widened and I realized you were lost in a dream space. When you talked about the candy canes your eyes were filled with such absolute wonder and fascination I could barely stand not squeezing you with all my strength.

“Qwismas lights twee (tree) sooo loud (bright?). Sooo loud qwismas lights qwismas twee. Qwismas oh-na-mints. Balls. Bird cage. Qwismas oh-na-mints. Cand’cane”—eyes widening—“ Cand’cane qwismas twee . . . cand’cane . . . cand’cane. Qwismas lights twee sooo loud park gwass gween gwass. Sky. Blue. Twees. Nico running so fast circle. Park. Qwismas twee. Cand’cane.”

“You like candy canes?”

“DO LIKE CAND' CANE!”

We continued to talk about a lot of things. I told you we were going to Mexico, to a place where everyone talked like Nana, the woman who runs your daycare. I told you grandma and grandpa were going to be there. You thought about this for a while and in a somewhat worried voice asked “jammies coming Mexico?” “Yes, sweetie. You pajamas are coming to Mexico.” You smiled, exhaled, and snuggled up to me as though this news was enough to send you to sleep.

When I got up to leave you began screaming “No. No. Don’t. No.” While getting out of the covers. “Daddy,” you said, “love you so much, Daddy.”

What a warm moment.

Love

Dad